Mother Talk: Conversations with Mothers of Lesbian Daughters and FTM Transgender Children





Price: $24.95

Page Count: 234

Publication Date: April 2012

ISBN: 978-1-927335-05-5

Twenty-four mothers, tweny-four stories capture the complexity of coming to terms with the loss of a daughter who has changed sex or an anticipated relationship with a daughter, now a lesbian, who lives in a different world and will lead a different life. This groundbreaking book will help other mothers as well as lesbian daughters and ftm transgender children to understand their own mothers, their changed lives, and their determination to remain connected.

“The interviews [are] riveting. It’s clear that the mothers were embarking on just as radical and challenging a journey as the daughters themselves. This book will be a classic for all the mothers out there wanting to hear from others who are going similar experiences.”
— Esther Rothblum, Ph.D., Professor of Women’s Studies, San Diego State University

“This outstanding collection focuses, for the first time ever, on women’s actual experiences of mothering, regardless of institutional involvement, biology, sex, and gender. It truly constitutes an anthropology of mothering, and thus is a ground-breaker—comprehensive, far-reaching beyond even gender, engaging, even fascinating—each chapter has its own charm—and its cross-cultural focus is invaluable. This marvelous book will make its readers think far beyond their culturally ingrained concepts of mothering and motherhood. It is a must-read for all scholars in the anthropology/sociology of reproduction and public health, and will benefit mothers themselves because of the broad and deep perspectives that it provides.”
—Robbie Davis-Floyd, Senior Research Fellow, Dept. of Anthropology, University of Texas Austin, author of Birth as an American Rite of Passage

Click here to read a review from the Association for Women in Psychology Newsletter, Spring 2012

Preface

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Devastation
1. Hannah: That Child Always Gave Me Trouble
2. Edie: I Hate Myself For How I Behaved
3. Sara: She Wasn’t Going To Be the Nice Little Lesbian I Hoped She Would Be
4. Karen: Gay Was a Piece of Cake
5. Anna: Why Would You Want To Be a White Male?

Loss
6. Elise: She’s a Guy Now
7. Mariam: All Those Weddings, All Those Showers
8. Jenny: He’s Gonna Lose Everything Except His Parents
9. Lisa: I miss The Person He Was When He Was a She

Adolescence
10. Debra: I Felt Helpless As a Mother
11. Rina: Mom, That’s Me, I Am a Boy, Inside I Am a Boy
12. Beth: I Just Don’t Like Labels

Not the Only Issue
13. Lila: I Regret the Kind of Mother I Was
14. Fran: She Took Me on a Ride I Wasn’t Prepared For
15. Naomi: Parents Do Leave Kids on Hillsides
16. Cheryl: Her Lesbianism Is Third In Line

Connection
17. Shirley: God, Watch Over Her for Me, Everyday
18. Lois: Whatever Kind of Relationship He Wants To Have, We Will Have
19. Eleanor: If I Couldn’t Be Supportive, I Couldn’t Be Around
20. Annemarie: You Can’t Hide a Baby
21. Lillian: My child Is Not an Abomination

Activism
22. Marie: She Made Me More of a Person
23. Judith: I Have a Much Happier Son Than I Ever Did a Daughter
24. Martha: Just Expect to See Somebody That Looks Like Your Former Daughter’s Twin Brother

Appendices

Sarah F. Pearlman was selected by the American Psychological Association Society for the Psychological Study of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Issues as the recipient of the 2011 Award for Distinguished Professional Contribution. Employed for many years as an Associate Professor in the Doctoral Program in Clinical Psychology at the University of Hartford, Sarah is now Associate Professor Emeritus. She lives in Boston and is active in LGBT elder organizations.